suddenly i'm famous and people know my name minling.zhss.nyjc.NUS law student and still trying to figure out my path in life. bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

my heart has been captured by your funny little smile

i don't know for sure where this is going blah

don't promise me forever just love me day by day Layout: hasta mañana Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

they're all at a party down under, dancing like flames ▼ histories: December 2008 histories: January 2009 histories: February 2009 histories: March 2009 histories: April 2009 histories: May 2009 histories: June 2009 histories: July 2009 histories: August 2009 histories: September 2009 histories: October 2009 histories: November 2009 histories: December 2009 histories: January 2010 histories: February 2010 histories: March 2010 histories: April 2010 histories: May 2010 histories: June 2010 histories: July 2010 histories: August 2010 histories: September 2010 histories: October 2010

Who wants to join the 7km Bare Your Sole barefoot walk/run?



sometimes, i wish that people didnt have to sleep.or have the need to sleep at regular intervals!

in recognition of my growing manlihood,i shall christen myself with a male name


.
..
.

MAN LING


ingenious isn't it ?*booms loudly and scratches chest hair*


it shall be my moniker if i ever become a transvestite.*_*

then you wake up,realizing that it was a dream,just a dream.You're lying on the cold pavement-intake of breath-the air is so raw that it stings.It starts to rain,and you look up.Split-splat go the raindrops,attacking the cement one by one,but each fragments into a million pieces.Undeniably,almost undoubtedly.Reach out,touching the moisture;lick your lips,tasting some of heaven's tears.


this is teh weirdest,starting off with litty stuff and then blogging bouts of terrible singlish.but yeah,imma used to it.


on teh topic, im considering getting tuition.adamant as i am to be independent,not even i can ignore that my gp grades haved attained the colour and texture of fresh dung.but the money! goodness.a few hundred dollars a month...i think i would be more motivated to self study if the money was dangled in front of me.


by the way,does anyone know a solution for hair loss?was vacuuming my room recently and realized i have been dropping a lot of hair..nooo! how can i go bald when i am still in jc! i am still so young and carefree!another reason i want my hair is so that i can flick it condenscendingly at offending classmates (i.e.wenzhen)haha i have a ponytail and you dont so i can flick my hair condescendingly at you but you cant! :P i sound like an utter bimbo here. i shall continue doing so to all the short haired people.HEPATITIS B SPREAD THROUGH HAIR FIBRES O_O


ok,random.nyahahha.

and by the way peeps,today is earth hour day so remember to switch off all electricity in your home for one hour today!save the earth,go green!actually,plants are alive too,just that you cant hear them scream D: have a heart.go eat your homework.


to the HOMEWORK-O!*crazy japanese dude style*




yesterday was totally,well FUCKED.woke up violently shaking at 3am,tottered to the toilet to pee,tottered back half asleep to my bed.And immediately puked into the dustbin beside it.could sleep for the next three hours.i vaguely remember waking to puke another 2 more times before falling into a fitful sleep.

went to the doc when i could finally drag myself out of bed,i HATE being sick,you feel like youre gonna die n all.was diagnosed with all sorts


woke up feeling fine the next day,but then it was 9am alrd and might as well make full use of the 2 days MC right X)


thanks to the wellwishers:)i think i must have annoyed diane because i smsed 3 people to tell her i wasnt coming for PE -__-

till next time when theres something interesting >P

I NEED MORE HOLINESS!


this is like being slapped in the face with a bucket of frog's droppings!!


FROM NOW ON,EVERYONE THAT VISITS THIS BLOG SHALL HAVE THEIR BRAINS SUCKED BY 180%!! (dun argue that your brains,after reaching maximum suckable capacity, will start to absorb from my blog instead.RAWR)

and i shall relocate to a new url called yaoisexgoddess3.blogspot.conk :D

Pausing momentarily,he reached out to open the door.He winced as the hinges creaked noisily,making a mental note to oil them next time.If there was a next time.


The room was bright,seemingly illuminated by light coming from the four walls.Squinting,he tried to make out his surroundings.There seemed to be no one at first;then his eyes refocused,recognizing the tiny figure crouched in a corner.


He moved hesitantly,the figure shuddered,but did not shy away.Perhaps,just perhaps,he could save her.Knelt down before her,cautiously offering her a hand.Careful.Every move was crucial.

He was so close he could hear her breathing,puffs of white vapour emanating from her lips.Sweet,sweet breath,smelling of periwinkles in the corn fields-of milk,too,freshly squeezed from maternal goats.


He touched her.His hand,grew very hot,then very cold.Inside his body,there erupted an indescribable warmth that comforted,that caressed his heart.

She looked up at him with her dew-stained cheeks,weeping,still weeping.But smiled,a cherubic smile,showing that she has already forgiven him,years and years ago.He needn't have worried.

His consciousness faded into a haze,wondering if it was really his existence,or a dream.A whirlwind of emotions stirred inside-pains,tears,guilt-all yearning to assuage his conscience.How he had Failed himself,Failed others.The time when all their hopes on him,had faded into nothingness.


Tears streaming down his cheeks,he wept "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

once twitty,so litty
composed a limerick
she went down town to ask around
till everyone got sick
her friend once described her as
a baboon who lost his wit


argh i suck at writing limericks,due to my lack of rhyming humour.my humour is usually extremely emo.LOL.


jus finished reading harry potter 6 and 7 again in 2 days.i dunno,i hated the airy fairy ending where they grew up,had kids blah blah at first.but then reading it another time,i guess it sort of grew on me.

i still remember that my friends tried to spoiler me by telling me dumbledore and snape married and had a child named albus severus.when i got to the end of the book i realized it was jus the name of harry's son-_-they can even gay up harry potter
la.


and soon after that,jk rowling announced that albus dumbledore was indeed GAY O___O and she speculated about all the fanfiction that was about to come out.is that highly reminiscent of jap yaoi?LOL.anyway i read her interview,it was quite cool.


went to surf around a bit more,found this in the LA times


2. His name. "While the anagram to 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' is 'I am Lord Voldemort,' as my good friend pointed out, 'Albus Dumbledore' becomes 'Male bods rule, bud!'"


lolfish,i cant believe what those people get up to in their free time .eee,so gay XD


FYI i dun read yaoi now.i used to poke at it in the past cos of curiosity,now no.

Crying
Not from the hurt of the cane
But from how
Your veined hands,thin and trembling
Could hardly hold the rod

Regretting
The cruel words that came from my lips
That stung , that wound
Not on your skin
But on your heart

A Child
Can you ever forgive my ignorance?
For being a child
A child, so young
Beseeching is worthless

Remembering, merely eleven
Stared at your face beneath the glass
Eyes closed, asleep
A single pearl, with a
Dewy white sheen, encased
Between your puce-hued lips
In boundless eternity, you are free
While I am still entrapped



Crimson cracks on her porcelain skin
Tears that have run dry
Blood drained thin
Heart upon love’s precipice
Forbidden from desire yet
She lusts
For his lips, his eyes
The tender soft skin on his neck
His heaving chest
Every moment, every day, every dream
Clinging on the faded memories
Crying, Crying
In a dark corner of her mind
Want, need, soul
Ignorance of reality
The sounds of life beyond love
Muted by the wailings
Of her broken conscience



Just finished watching twilight because i had nothing better to do this morning.

i dun understand what the fuss is over edward cullen,i mean,he isnt that good looking tome
as appealing as it is to become a vampire.but then i find the entire story just extremely americanised.there is no such thingas a charming prince that will come to save you,a damsel in distress.neither are the characters sogood looking in real life.it is just a element of our fantasies that the media propaganda plays upon,very much like korean dramas.

but then,i guess i could emphathize with bella's adolescent awkwardness.i do try (to some extent),but then i have zero feminity.shopping bores me.i see no point in tottering around in painful heels/pumps.dressing up is a pain,except probably for special occasions?


still,it is good to imagine.i wanna be a vampire !*___________________*


unfortunately,the chinese version of the undead would be zombies,and that is very unglam.i mean,who wants to hop around wearing talismans on their foreheads?


i guess i will settle for mortality before chasing the immortal.

sometimes i just dont understand why people are envious of my pale skin.i mean what is so good to be pale?look like ghost like that.imagine if one day,you are stuck at a forest in macritchie road at midnight.you wait long long for taxi.then when the familiar flash of headlights arrive,you wave frantically for the taxi,only to hear the driver shriek"AHHHHH! HANTU GALA!!" and run away.of cos,also got the more brave ones that will stop and ask "eh,you ghost onot?" but that is very few la.

ofcourse,got more reasons why it sucks to be pale.when you go for camp,or even in a few hours under the hot sun,instead of tanning,your skins turns red instead of tan!so instead of looking like a chao ta mian bao,you look like a baboon's bottom! oh horror.

mindless playing,focusing on what is routine
i despise your single word replies
your apathy
the claims that you pay apology for
are but withered into dust
blown away by the wind

yesterday,the memories resurfaced
hurting,hurting like a raw wound
i panic
clamping away at the excess emotions
blood spurts
cold,cold on my fingers
staining my skin
like acid,eroding

looking into the mirror this morning
l lean close.my breath fogs up the misted glass
who is this person?
rebirth.cool,clean,fresh
untainted to the touch
is but something beautiful



from left[food] :popcorn (bao mi hua),peanuts (hua shang),birthday cake(sheng ri dan gao),high tea (!!! gao cha),char siew pao

1st row ppl:bobby,huiqi,sheena,me,wenyi
2nd row:jeremy and shirlynn(ogl)

NYCO orientation today after normal practise! got ppl zao very fast as usual but then still had sufficient people to play games and stuff.

this was taken with my team when we were playing the word chain food game thing.the gao cha part was so lame lah!we just bought the honey red bubble tea and raised it very high.HAHA.


weijian is missing in this picture! D: ah here he is.eh,dun diao us leh.






a very vulgar and unglam jonathan.



lawrence,liyun and a very constipated looking j lau.during the food chain game!




in the end, my team won because we cheated cleverly made use of resources available within the shortest distance!






OEI! DUN JAYWALK!! caught in the act and disqualiffiiiieeedd..



kaijie shows off his amazing Vibrating Limb.to pie_99 of cos.




WEEEE CAMWHORE! *no link of cos*



during the da feng chui game.


well tts all for now.hahaaa

NYCO camp cum training thingy today!


as expected,alot of people ponned,some people claimed to be sick (yeah right) but overall attendance was more or less okay.

emo rant.

ill digress a little.usually, i will feel like ponning these orientation things or even cca trainings-but then that was back in secondary school,where i really felt that i didnt belong in the cca.actually, it is not really the cca itself that attracts me to it- it is the people.back in my sec sch days,i really didnt like npcc.the people there were rather clique-ish and i just couldnt talk to them.also, i was fairly quiet so i couldnt really talk to my seniors.i still remember when one of my sirs pumped me for no fucking reason and when one of my squadmates mentioned on his blog how unlucky he was to be sabo-ed as squad-ic with me.when some of the girls in the toilet mocked me then why did i fucking join this cca in the first place?to torture myself ,do drills and pushups on the hot gravel and learn how to tie useless knots (okay lah,they proved to be quite useful with time :X)?

it wasnt the physical pain that kept me from avoiding this cca,it was the mental barrier.it was also my fault of course; i was making things difficult for my squadmates when i ponned trainings.but then i made up for it a little when i forced myself to attend the ATC( Atrociously Torturous Camp) at pulau ubin( ok lah again,only the sec 2 and 3 ones were torturous,the sec 4 ones were pretty fun!flyyiiinnggg foxxx :DDD) so that we would have enough strength to warrant participation.when things were getting a little better in sec 3, i left to join debate,because that was what i really liked.at one point in time i was close to quitting npcc-the teacher convinced me to stay,saying that i would let down my squadmates because we had barely enough strength to qualify for a silver medal and that she would gurantee me at least a b3 in cca.i was thinking that when i added my debate points, it would scrape me an a2?but when i got my cca cert back, it was a b4.and im not that shameless to beg my teachers for the cca points i know i dont deserve.

some of my squadmates have attended the same school as i am and im glad to say that i am on relatively good terms with some of them.people change,all of us have faults. i could blame anyone and everyone for my sucky cca life (my mum for bringing me up to be such an ugly person and persuading me to join npcc because it was her cca during sec sch;ELDDS for kicking me out to NPCC;my squadmates for not including me in their gatherings) but then i would realize that the fault mostly lies with myself.for not gaining the awareness of my status in the people around me,acting stupidly,trying to avoid problems rather than to face them head on;too cowardly to find the courage to talk with people i am not comfortable with.


looks like this rant is long enough to qualify as a post? haha/





PIG.hahahh.
have a happylicious bdae! *does gerda rainbow dance*



ok,post spammage, i know.

i have been really tired lately.each time i go to school, i hope it ends.but when i reach home,i feel,literally,at a loss on what to do.


block tests results are partially out.results have proven to be extremely unpredictable,due to my Bs in chem n math and my surprise topping of the mcq which i tyco-ed.to my very surprise, i got 16/25 for the poetry paper in lit,which apparently topped the cohort.apparently,a lot of people had misinterpreted the second poem in the poetry comparison.


Spinster

Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the bird's irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.


By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.


How she longed for winter then!
-Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.


But here - a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley-
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring;
She withdrew neatly.

And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.



i thought it was pretty obvious that the girl was the one that rejected love because she found out that it disrupted the order in her life. plus the fact that i happily failed the only poetry assignment i ever did (cos im alwz missin assignments due to me joining another class for lit lessons)


16/25.....rather unsatisfactory grade, i think i have to get abt a 19-19 for my other two essays in order to scrape an A?i really hope i can do so.this would really help in upping my credibility in literature.i mean,i have been feeling rather ignored in my class for the past year.so it was quite a nice feeling when i heard them clap as ms agnes announced b4hand tt i topped that cohort for that paper.and for some reason en ci found out and congratulated me and taught me the bogey handshake(clap hands tgt,bang,shoulder,seperate,dig nose and flick the bogey! EWWWWWW WAH LAUUUUU)

even though i do speak up in lessons, i still have to feeling of being irritating and extra.plus in my own class of 0804,my circle of friends is somewhat stifled by the people i hang out with( if you know what i mean) and i have been slowly learning to break out of that and to change,to appreciate people for who they are.even though friends are a blessing,if they really care for you, i think they should learn to let go.


CLOUD OF AMBIGUITY.HAHA.NEH NEH NI POO POO.

:D moodswing! dont blame me, it is the hormones.i swearrr.



PHOTOS FROM RYAN's BLOG,IN CASE IT LOOKS FAMILIAR


went to ryan's house in the class outing on sports carnival.the sports carnival was cancelled because it RAINED,epic FAIL.but then i kind of pitied the house exco members for running around ushering everyone to safety while they got drenched.even though it was very well thought out on their part and i wasnt really that keen on it,still,it was a pity that their effort in planning this was wasted.

jonathan pangseh-ed me to a non-class outing as usual and i met jeremy while i was searching for the class.both of us tried to call ryan but to no avail because he was evilly avoiding us.then i suggested he call someone that would definitely pick up,but then he refused,haha.fortunately,met ryan and gang along the way


the class discussed what to do while i ignored them and played abt 5 games of bridge before they came to a decision.lol ended up going to ryan's house,it was quite a nice place :D much messier than my house,but with a nicely cluttered feeling.and we were all shocked by his abyss of candy O_O it is a wonder that ryan doesnt get fat,he must practise extreme self control la.






heck, i dont even know what i am blogging for ): perhaps to offset my previously emo post,which i may soon delete.

ok,in this post, i shall highlight some stuff which has been bothering me thus far.


recently talked with cheryl,because of uintended stimulus from our class *winkwink* on the subject of girls chasing guys.

honestly,that subject,is as alien,foreign and morbid to me as yaoi is to guys.

yes, i know,despite the independence and self assertion i exhibit frequently (LOL) as people who know me would know,what would i take a conservative stand on such issue?is minling secretly (GASP) a gu niang at heart? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

but to any other girl who is keen,i am not against you,lah.i shall sit by the side ,eat popcornlaugh sadistically and jiayou!


i agree with cheryl.for the most part,girls are more emotional,more sensitive and easily hurt;both in a physical and emotional sense.guys tend to be able to live on and let go;i find that many girls still remain stuck in their fairyland waiting for their prince.but in real life,there is no prince or princess.of course there are also the guy stalkers,but since i assume that they come from a mentally retarded species,lets dismiss them for the time being.


lets do this like a GP essay!lets hope this will improve my miserable GP results.NOT.

Thesis Statement:i think that when girls chase guys,they tend to have a lot to lose.
1.as said before,girls are more emotional,so they will get hurt more if they get rejected by the guy.furthermore,if the issue gets out or if the guy is repulsed or unkind,she could suffer a lot of humiliation.the guy could also be afraid to reject her for fear of hurting her,thereby wasting a lot of time on the part of both parties.i think this is quite likely la,from the cases i see and hear about.and plus girls more scared of rejection.

2.guys have something called EGO,which these confessions would feed.can you ensure that you are truly giving him happiness like this.he and his gang of friends would just go *cue deep manly voice * HURH HURH HURH,et izz thart gurl det like YOO LEH!!HURH HURH HURH GOO TOG TOO HERR! HURH HURH HURH SHE CHIO NOTZ? HURH HURH HURH HURH HURH BWAH HWAH HWAH HWAH*cue deep manly laughter*

-_-

well, i dont think it is gonna happen to me so i dont worry too much about it la.


Conclusion:
注定是你的将是你的
不是你的永远不属于你的

use chinese,fail already!
I give up :( GOPPPAAALLLSAVVEEE MEEEEEE!!!



i am imperfect.this is already emphasized by the fact that j lau calls me an ugly bitch daily *rolls eyes*


i dont need someone to be perfect for me.because i think i can love him for his imperfections.


:D

that is the mushiest that you will ever see me go.one,two,three,EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE minling so gross!

i have taken a little time off my schedule to blog.despite the immense workload and the unsatisfactory results thus far *frowns* dont complain that you scored worse,cos honestly,you know what i mean.brains are but tangled connections of neurons,where neurotransmitters go ZAPZAPZAP -----like little bolts of lightning.yet,the frail fibres connecting them will soon bbbreak.


a dull pain throbs incessantly in the base of my skull.i feel the need to wake up,regain the drive i had to succeed,to gain leverage over others simply because i wanted to win.but i still dont want to.maybe because last year,i had loved and lost,those that were precious to me,those that i didnt realizewere special to me and the people that matter.because i care,i do care for all of you.

hatred is a very powerful thing.it can reverse tides,crumble mountains but ultimately causes destruction to oneself.i remember how hard i had to struggle to kick,claw and scratch my way to the top and i never want to descend to that level of self-abuse again.where the pain becomes so deep,you don't even feel it when it hurts anymore.

i am Numbed,and it is but a part of me.



walking home is a routine,shoving my bag on the sofa,snapping open my laptop.



click.click.click.



the windows open.