heres your art trade weining=) (Monday, August 24, 2009 / 5:28 AM)
stupid things i did in the past week:
procrastinate-that ones a usual.
interuppted my msn convos to buy toilet paper under the nagging of my Holy Mother.
sleep excessively in the afternoon such that i get insomnia at night,and send a pleading sms to wenzhen at 2.26 am in the morning"HAAALLPPP. I CANNOT SLEEP D:" and proceed to oversleep the next morning for chem lecture,which is ironic cos i spent the previous night slugging over the chem Grp 5 and Grp 7 assignments.then stumbled into math test 10 minutes late(oh shit there is a math test?/SO SOON??? I WAS STUDYING BIO) and chionged through all the questions(of cos no time la, i should v jus skipped e entir paper!i got excuse,got dental later lor.walaowalao.)
i think i kind of pissed someone off.there was some miscommunication problem with a third party + my own mistrusting nature that caused it.i cant turn back time but im really sorry*sigh*
stuff and stuff (Sunday, August 23, 2009 / 5:54 AM)
=)im throwing out my general paper stuff now!it is taking up too much space in my life.
and response to some of life queries:
- i am not desperate.i already dun have enough energy to cope with A levels and much less for a relationship right now.as **** said before on his blog(i must stop referring to him on my blog=( but then his blog posts r pretty memorable so bo bian.shh dun tell him or his ego will inflate )it is like, u find someone more attractive,even though the person beside them is more good looking.then u spend some time trying to find out why.i think when u find out the reason,it is not fun anymore.oh well,that is how fickle life is.
-i do not have a lot of guy friends.in class i am always sandwiched betwn jon n bb cos of the coincidental seating orientation rather than anything else.i dont like to sit in the front row because i want to sleep/talk cock/gossip/never do homework/stone.and then wenzhen will pangseh me and go sit in the second row with mich and gang and i no place to sit D: i have calibrated the percentages and decided my male and female friends are of equal proportions but then since most of my male friends are gay/metrosexual/SNAGs it tends towards the female side lar.i think sometimes when making friends it is not about the gender,it is about whether u have the chemistry and whether the other party is receptive towards continuing the friendship.:)
- a recent psychometric assessment test i took at the civil service college has got me thinking.it labels me as a braggart,procrastinator and a loner.which i suppose i am to some extent, i acknowledge that. i got suaned a lot in the report,but then it also provides avenues for self-reflection, am i really that bad a person?i suppose i can get egoistic and "think i am superior to others" and manipulative at times,but whether it manifests itself in the external behaviour is another matter altogether. i should really watch what i say next time!!! but i dont wanna dumb myself down for the sake of others hahaha.but i seriously doubt the credibility of the test as it was taken after 3 rounds of gruelling mental examinations ( 1 math paper, 1 english deductive paper and 1 science paper? i forgot.but then i do remember it was freezing the the RJC hall, i didnt have a jacket and all the papers were impossible to finish, hence i conclude that the first 3 papers are redundant and just to mentally torture us so we would not have the mental capacity to lie for the personality test questions).
jiayou for A levels there are only 70++ days left?=)not much advice i can offer,but i am always willing to help ppl in need who ask! (is this acting as thinking you are superior to others? lol.maybe i should try to eat a bit of humble pie.lucky my mama jus bought a slice! =D)
this pie looks like egg tart man.stupid americans no originality.
(Tuesday, August 18, 2009 / 9:46 AM)
maybe i am being too sensitive but then i am just pervaded by hues of paranoia.i should just sleep and not think too much,but then i jus drank a caffeinated drink and cant sleep.and hence thy shall blog and eat an orange at the same time (lack of vitamin C and dinner) and wonder how to get out of the literature lesson where i am supposed to have prepared all my tutorial statements.i guess i should just pon as usual as i know my caffeinated self would not be able to wake up the next morning due to intense fatigue and self-pity,but then aw heck just let me post my views on a vast neglected online portal for the scrutiny of all.
now is a period of time i classify to be
BRAIN DRAG.like,when u stare at the paper and feel sluggish and nothing goes in and u take forever to solve like one pathetic question,then u decide you dont really care after all and start gossiping to the nearest friend around,then u get shushed by crazy annoying people,and u know u are even more crazily annoying than them but you just feel pissed anyway and that really puts a damper on your day =(
and then there is this phase also where i am going through where u really doubt the intentions of other people-maybe i am just being impatient after all,but then i really dont wanna waste any time or brain cells especially in such a stressful period..it just really hurts sometimes u wonder if you are being sensitive but then you are too afraid to voice it out because you dont want to seem sensitive,and then these thoughts just accumulate in your head until they are about to explode and you are trapped in this kaleidoscope of emotions.u cant help it cos after all you are only a girl.
what wenzhen said recently got me thinking: she constantly keeps harping on a reverse harem for me (an inside and totally untrue joke la) then it got me thinking la,not bad also lor.can assign them all numbers
#1:drive car
#2:sweep floor
#3:wash toilet on alternate days
#4:bring slippers when u reach home
#5: sew french maid costume
HHA.maybe not the last one then! yeah in ppl's dreams mann..NO THAT IS NOT A SECRET FETISH O______________O
(Sunday, August 16, 2009 / 6:39 AM)
[edit] got a really bad sore throat,guess i should lay off the ice blended coffee[/edit]
sometimes i feel that life is a joke.then u turn around and everybody is ignoring you.then u turn back and u can hear them laughing.then fk,every single person who had a vague disagreement with me will be going to assume that i am talking about them and get all pissed off.sian ji pua.that is really the way to describe how people make you feel sometimes.
"greener pastures above the hill" lol!! that was an excerpt from jlau's GP essay.how he got the same mark is me while i wrote twice as much as him is utterly atrocious.or maybe gopal just dislikes my syntax,but the irregularity of her mark scheme leaves me confused sometimes,maybe i should just stick to science and technology?every gp lesson i walk out of makes me feel like i have learnt nothing.
the queen is loading us with lots and lots of work lately.oh whatever,from the A lvl paper it is evident that nyjc is insufficiently prepared to take on A levels la.and seeing the progress of most of our subjects..well i wish we could take study leave.im much more in favour of the rjc system where they end really early and seek their own subsequent consultations.we should be trusted with the same maturity to handle our subjects but i guess not.
(Thursday, August 13, 2009 / 5:55 AM)
i dont hang my dirty laundry out of my blog.but sometimes i just feel that people act really childishly and i can keep laughing and laughing but inside i just feel really hurt.i dont like to argue with people so i usually jus back down and go "sorry lah,my fault" but i wonder how long i can do that.humans can be jus really selfish sometimes.and i dont like people who go beating about the bush until i get very confused and pissed off.
if not for my back row ppl cracking all the disgusint gjokes everyday so that i laugh i would get a stomachache i think i might go mad.OH COME ON LA.
the difference between kinky and erotic is that- kinky is when u use a feather.erotic is when u use a whole chicken.some quotable quotes that come from nyjc-ians to suan nanyang students.none of them from me to the best of my understanding.
"NYJC-ians are those that are not good enough to get into AJC,then come ny lor""Your class standard is like that,shouldnt even be in NYJC.and thats a compliment."
"NYJC only have a couple of people that get 7 As.RJC has hundreds more people with the same results""NYJC-ians that eventually make it to university (e.g.NUS)will all be scraping the bottom of the barrel,it is highly unlikely that they will make the dean' s list""NYJC-ians are WEIRDOS,like the blind leading the blind. i think they just never see enough of the world yet"Ever since i come into NYJC,my english like shit"one thing that makes it all so memorable is that it is actually all
TRUE.it is like an epiphany or sorts.no i do not look down on nyjc-ians and even if i did i wouldnt be so stupid to admit that in a puiblic internet portal and no i am not implying anything.
besides biology, i think NYJC should do a critical evaluation of its teaching system,espc for literature and mathematics.i seriously do not think that loading us with work is the solution.after doing the chem p3 A lvl last year i realize that A levels is much more challenging than i thought la.not like O levels where u practically walk out of the exam hall knowing u already have that A despite it not being your best paper.
NYJC-ians who are easily offended,take my words with a pinch of salt or choose not to look.
anyways,on to the next topic.
do guys really watch porn on the internet??
i believe those com-addicted guys may have stumbled upon it accidentally.but then whether they pursue is questionable.let me quote a scene that happens during class.
Act P,Scene ORN
*sitting with boonbin and jlau and wz in class,jeremy and weixiang were staring of the window,their backs facing us"
bb:" i think guys who go online alot will watch porn one lah.RIGHT,JEREMY??"
*without turning his back,jeremy flashes us the thumbs up*
*cue laughter*
i believe that some guys dont do that la.i would be especially shockd if ryan did.the sexiest(bio inside joke,i dun really think that way about him,eew) bio top student, u cannot let the image i have of you to be trashed!!! NOOOO.
stop being obssessed with me! (Wednesday, August 12, 2009 / 6:21 AM)
uber fantastic.i first time go night study to-day with kaijie.pon-d chem to eat the 1-for-1 pasta offer at cafe cartel,pangsehing jon, and crapped with wenzhen and practically wasted time for about 2-3 hours before going back to school.
sometimes i think bloggers are narcissistic people because sometimes i think hey who gives a shit about your life -_-and when u go sorry long time no blog you must be really obsessed with yourself such that u can delude yourself that other people are as absorbed in you like you are!
\
anyways was pacing around nyjc outside lt4,which i find to be a very study-able spot where u can jus say hi to random people walking past.obviously i went to look for the "b**logy is harder than an erection" vandalism which gary neo had condemned previously.it is still so obvious it is there la except the biology is crudely scratched out,thus it is worse cos its even more vandalism.it is a miracle no authority figure has seen it yet la.i think gary only found out because cheryl posted it on her blog,then pp reads her blog and told gary.
check out the vandalised table outside lt4,it has the works!" in a one night stand,what stand?" like wtf LOOOLL
i think jon was real bored during chemistry today cos he decided to do an appreciation of my aesthetic beauty and did an abstract art picture of me ,as seen below.
wao.such beauty.look at the almond shaped eyes,the artistically styled crap and the molded lips.like some plastic surgery gone wrong,lah.
(Tuesday, August 11, 2009 / 4:27 AM)
back from freezing my butt in the lecture theatre for two and a half hours doing the stupid chemistry paper,which was harder than i thought it was.isnt the actual exams supposed to be super easy...or is NYJC prep just not good enough?
i think people are getting more weird and more irritable nowadays.. i think it must be the exam stress.i must learn to keep more quiet and fade into obscurity.
not an emo post (Monday, August 10, 2009 / 3:17 AM)
島唄よ風に乗り鳥とともに海を渡れ...島唄よ風に乗り届けておくれ私の愛を...my breath turns white with lies.
smoke that swirls,condensing into a thick mist
that clouds me from direction
is it really a talent?
lips that murmur the broken melody
a waterfall that glides through the silvery echoes
the touch that halts.and waits
oak-cupboard-running your fingers,sensing the grooves and cracks
minute jabs by the splinters but
numbwhat is beauty?
mirror-wet hair dripping with the soapy feel lingering on my skin,wrinkles form on my nose as i catch sight of the reflection.coarsely shivering-the minute scythes cutting into my
fleshim cold,but i dont want shelter.
its painful,but i jus want to be alone.
Island song, ride the wind, with the birds, cross the sea.
Island song, ride the wind, carry my tears with you.
how long will i wait?
back-ish! (Saturday, August 8, 2009 / 9:27 AM)
1.YAY thanks to cheryl's help i finally can get back my blogger toolbar! not sure about the rationale behind it( was never a technical person or a com geek but then yeah its cool THANKS BABE!!!)
2.got onto the honour roll again.at least this time better than the last,GOT POPULAR VOUCHERS instead of the silly borders voucher we usually get that.im really the fake honour roller of 2009 la, i cant believe mono-day syllabus chiongsters still can get into it.now i have to treat my frens crystal jade cus i promised to.i jus didnt say whether it was the restaurant or the bakery,maybe i jus buy them 5 paus each also can *shrugs* if treat them atas restaurant they confirm will order 60 glasses of plain water jus to make me pay more.wa lao.
3.in the end after chem prac,me bb and wenzhen (jon was sick that day,one less black hole to feed! xD) chiong-d down to cafe cartel to get the 1-for-1 pasta offer which i cheaply researched online(WHEN U R TREATING U MUST GET DA BEST DEAL HAHAHA).the serving size was puny even for a girl,and the strobe lights were v irritating,not a conducive environment to talk cock or study.total was $22.80 i think not bad..one of the perks of being a student i guess -_-
4.went to eugene's birthday party( some pseudo nyco senior whos friend i am scandal-d with,LOL).i felt abit awkward ( didnt talk much cos i barely knew anyone there,sorry -_-,but i think evryone was really nice and funny though) so i jus mostly stoned and eat and kept quiet.not sure why i went also i think i was wu liao.obviously the few ppl i know cant be ard me all the time.my fren's bf fetched me to the mrt and i jus went home from there.not much comments cant rly rmb it happend so long ago,but i feel abit guilty abt the scandal-d person in question cos of the embarrassment caused by my presence >.<
5.got weirded out by people wanting to prove tt they are smarter than me,LOL.i duno why i get so much flak,ryan doesnt.maybe it is because i seem more like a rude and undeserving slacker.
6.realized AEP ppl r KUUL =D its amazing how i still keep in contact with them even though i never talk to enci much during aep and debs jus randomly waved hi to me during some random SDP event where we were running around like lost sheep.
7.realize tt i should keep a check on my phone bill.more ppl are calling/msgin to complain to me about their lives,now tt it is the emo jc period moment. i do get emo too u know,jus that my delusion of perfection and high self confidence and thinking that emos are stupid prevents me from lapsing into such a self-destructive cycle and yah, i will proceed to do something more useless like playing facebook.( OMGOSH IM 46% MAN.CAN YOU FEEL MY LEG HAIR??? RWAAARRRZZZZ)
8. Im going back to be an ACE for SYC(sunburst youth camp) i dun expect to relive it but it is a joy to see juniors experiencing the same obstacles like we did.i hope they dont suffer too much,u really grow emotionally from such an experience cos i think it is something beautiful that we will never forget? refer to my dec 2008 post, ah the memories =P.i hope i see some familiar faces.i think this is the only camp i go for that PAYS us (we are given an allowance...) instead of we pay for them!may the cash be with our disgustingly rich sponsors,temasek holdings i think.
9.i think i should get serious about mugging?LOL.there is still the computer to distract me.A levels so stressful why is everyone count down-ing??lets just take the exams now la.fail tgt nvm haha.
