suddenly i'm famous and people know my name minling.zhss.nyjc.NUS law student and still trying to figure out my path in life. bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

my heart has been captured by your funny little smile

i don't know for sure where this is going blah

don't promise me forever just love me day by day Layout: hasta mañana Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

they're all at a party down under, dancing like flames ▼ histories: December 2008 histories: January 2009 histories: February 2009 histories: March 2009 histories: April 2009 histories: May 2009 histories: June 2009 histories: July 2009 histories: August 2009 histories: September 2009 histories: October 2009 histories: November 2009 histories: December 2009 histories: January 2010 histories: February 2010 histories: March 2010 histories: April 2010 histories: May 2010 histories: June 2010 histories: July 2010 histories: August 2010 histories: September 2010 histories: October 2010

okay.submitted the NUS applications.hoping beyond what is possible..

cant make it for inteview tis fine.i hope i get what i want no matter how slim the chances are.
now for scholarship.or not.


still deciding whether to go zhiwen's birthday party :/ wanna go and free now tt i am jobless but quite far...and sure get lost there and on the way back =.=

portfolio.interviews.and the results will be released in late april?


Sorry for most of NUS applicants,the med/law people will be dragging your release of results time :/ cos of the multiple rounds of interviewwwssss... not complaining cos im one of them LOL.


wish I could jus fly away to oxford and study archaeology and anthropology.there is nothing i want to study in singapore.


decided to avoid business cos i realized( and mom insists) that being my own boss does not run in my blood,i just cant be bothered to pacify and suck up to people unless you are my close friend,and engaging in such formal niceties really makes me want to puke.unless it is on an international context (i.e. diplomat) then at least my job has some meaning...

my mom wants me to give up NUS law interview for the planned korea trip from 15th-22nd :(

i really think i have a better chance of getting into law than..than...plus NUS law is much more prestigious and flexible than SMU law...mom insists that law is not right for me and since i dont have a burning passion for law ( like wtf who has ) i shouldnt go for it.but then i still think it is my best shot at a right future.


dont tell me to follow my heart.like how can you tell whether you like something without first experiencing it?

I can always insist to my mom that i want to back out of the korea trip,but somehow I would feel bad doing that as it is something i had promised her for ages :/ not a person who really values out-of-country time,frankly i think the money can be better spent(e.g. longer hours with the air conditioner on ...) ugh i really dont want to go.someone please take my place and pretend to be me!


went to Bloodbank@HSA today....got rejected cos they told me my blood pressure was too low..-_-

i promise to change.

from now.

im not one to set goals but

im just sick and tired of uncertainties.procrastination.the heavy feelings that tug at my chest,a helmet that is being screwed tighter on my head every second..

why am i so greedy and selfish :(

SOMETIMES I WUNDER.WHY SO MANY PEOPLE WANNA BE DOCTORS,LIKE SERIOUSLY GET LOST SO THAT PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO WANT TO BE FORENSIC PATHOLOGISTS AND DISSECT DEAD INNARDS CAN HAVE SPACE. BRAINS AND INTESTINES,BWAHAHHA.


1) oh,but i want to SAVE LIVES!!!!

SORRY DUDE BUT DOCTORS ONLY CURE 20% of their patients and hold off the symptoms for a slightly higher percentage :/

2) MOMMY/DADDY WANTED ME!!!!!!!!!!
its your life not theirs...YOU HAVE TO DIG YOUR HANDS THROUGH BLOODY INNARDS.AND PEOPLE WILL SUE YOU.

3) WORLD PEACE :3

........................................................

omg what have i gotten myself into =..=

i foresee 6 interviews and 3 essays to be written.plus one of them is really scary,the Holy Mother of All Interviews.Expect to be Confunded,Confused and Utterly Afraaaaiiiiiddd.....i would be lucky if i did not pee in my pants :/ n nun of em are scholarship.NOOOONNE.if i want have to go more interviews.whut.


the things we do for dreams and money.meanwhile gotta brush up on my current affairs,its like prepping for n oral GP exam.... jus tt nw i hv roughly whut in mind theyll ask ;)


nehmind, TRY TRY TRY. or DIE DIE DIE.

WAHA.WISHES ME LUCK!!!!

its not a dead route when u go into university,tt is what i must say.from all my research a forum scouting..:/

yday went to NUS open house,talked to a few people from medicine law ..and real estate????LOL i dun wanna sell property! the campus is not as bad as i thought though I may only be seeing the new side though haha.

after tt went for Astar talk to accompany a friend,met many hwa chong potential scholars who freaked me out.but overall the talk was quite informative,gave insights about life overseas.and also made me more determined not to be a bonded scholar.I mean,can u imagine the pressure to produce results when they have paid for your education for 8 years? I didnt miss the note of worry in the scholar's voice when he talked about how his project was failing.Science is not a thing we can really control,it also boils down to luck and not all can be successful.


I think the path for me has become more clear now...thanks loads to the people i talked with.you shouldnt give up on a dream when it becomes impossible.


Im on the verge of shaving my head if i really do get into the course that I want or i may take a gap year to think things out and get contacts.please oh God/Buddha/Allah give me your blessings!








mr neo said that.bio students cannot fail GP.

cos the only thing that dun emphasize on GP is engineering and bio students CANNOT do engineering cos they dun take physics ( lousy sub combi and lousy contrasting subject system).


which is why...


haiz.


thankful for the A.even though i may not have deserved it.( wasted 15 min planning for the wrong essay,i think i wrote slightly out of point and din finish compre :( )


and indicative grade profiles are assuming u got a C for GP and PW which mean whew if i come under the IGP i still have a teeny chance...

i need an ang moh name.wenzhen suggested like doing sth similar to my current chinese name like wenzhen=wendy .HAHA SO WEIRD COS I ALRD KNOW A WENDY AND THEY ARE NTH LIKE EACH OTHER -_- if so minling=mindy or sth cos some of my non chinese frens call me Min when they are unable to pronounce my real name.bt it sounds so weird when ppl call me by mindy.

conversation with sharon


you eh? why lawyer? xD
<やおい様> not good enough says:
I DUNNO
i jus wanted to challenge myself i tink
and biz is quite general
i went back to sch wif boonbin
then mr neo psycho us take life sci
boonbin initially wna take chem de.then now he kena psychoed.i also psychoed abit
Say it three times fast. Shoes with Soft Soles says:
HAHA xP
what did he say man?
<やおい様> not good enough says:
wah lao why am i so confused now??? initially i was quite set on FASS DE????
Say it three times fast. Shoes with Soft Soles says:
why do you want to take life sciences
seriously
other than Mr Neo
<やおい様> not good enough says:
http://forum.brightsparks.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2385 read when u have time...
hmm
he said it is a more versatile degree
like
he can take MBA ,which is a year long course
and PWN me
who has only a BBA
and he would hv advantage cos of his bio + biz power



argh i was so set initially on FASS psychology/new media i couldnt be bothered what kind of grades i got at A level but i secretly hoping for straight As for personal shiokness ( but didnt get it anyway,damn)

but now i realize im not satisfied.I have been good but never the best,no matter how hard i tried ( or did not try -.-) I think i want to challenge myself during the last few years of education.but would the Higher Powers ( i subscribe to no religion in particular and Buddhism is a principle not a religion for you religious high flyers out there) grant me such a wish?SEE HOW,LOR.

if i get law,okay lor i enter mugger world and become a legal eagle hotshot or semi retire to become a GP teacher also can :D

if i dun get law i shall prob rot in SMU biz.got lotsa people i like in SMU biz as well,my frens from NJC and VJC...they will make it an intellectually stimulating environment! :D i would really enjoy class time with them around.

or NUS life science as psychoed by Mr neo.I dont know if i have a burning passion for science but i shall delude myself tt i am a late bloomer haha.what he said is right a degree in science is much more versatile..

i wonder ,10 years down the road.

how far would we have come?

most of my class mates are employed i feel kind of like a bummer jus practising guitar at home and playing com.

after many hours of consulting relatives.more or less set on law/life sci.if i really dun like NUS ill go SMU biz.it all depends on this sat!

loads of my high scoring friends in smu biz are going.

before applying for law,which i will probably NOT get anyway ( like im mentally prepped to not get it 90%, jus try jus try =))


NTU is out for me unless i suddenly develop an interest in maritime studies.

anyway anyone want to sign up with me for SG cares? =)

i feel sian now that i see the group of 6As people in my class in the top students photogs on fb.lol count my blessings.

not good enough.again.

not good enough during PSLE and O levels to get into the school I wanted.now probably the same thing is going to happen for A levels.shit that doesnt even count cos i donno wat i want.

boonbin asked me to go back sch consult mr neo ( career guidance ah ) n now I am like half psycho-ed to do life sciences.wah lao it is like a vicious cycle.I shall write a path of my ambitions.

I wanted to be a nurse in pri 1,my first ambition,no idea WHY.I think the idea of healthcare just seemed very wholesome and perfect to me.

Then i wanted to be an author cos my dad used to make be read lotsa books,imagine the trauma of a seven year old kid being forced to read charles dickens from cover to cover.i became averse to boring genres but on the whole it cultivated a love for reading,so Im really thankful to my dad for selflessly building up my education foundation...so dad whereever you are now im really grateful..pls give me help and direction during times when im so confused on what to do..

cue sec sch when the drawing manga bug hit i wanna be an artist.but no $ so i gave up.plus there are loads more people out there who have been drawing...i could compete with them if i had the dedication and resources...but such creative outlets would have to take a backseat to pragmatism.


I think the past few days the most jialat one. media ->life sciences->aviation->business->dentistry( why not medicine you ask who the fk are you kidding i have no brains or balls for med)->law->life sciences -_________________-

ok dentistry is no hope one la.
media too superficial so ive crossed tt out.
law the 10th percentile is AAA/A im slightly below :( but i tink i have a chance of getting in cos I have A for GP.universities mainly consider your 3 h2s and GP and GP is the main killer of many people.therefore i tink i have an advantage over an AAA/A person with GP B.but what im afraid for law is tt the content might be too dry i think ill jus die on the spot -.-


it all depends on march 13 when i go down for the open house of NUS.please let me absolutely love/hate it there...i still like smu lei!

now with the flurry of options i am even more confused.-_- and im even considering courses that i have never even thought bout before,namely business and dentistry!but the latter is eliminated cos of my lovely B for lit :(

and to make myself feel worse i logged on to rjc and hci webpage to see their school stats.great over there i am an underperforming bummer.and i realized i know 2 people from the special mention scholars list in HCI O_____O one of them is doing medicine and the other is studying Philosophy,Politics and Economics in Oxford...i guess it pays to be proactive in inter-school activities,next time i can come and con money from both of you, qihan and dina!!!

both of them are not especially RA-RA people but i guess they exude their own charm..I AM SO JEALUZZZ D: i wanna wanna wanna scholarship too! boo hoo hoo my life achievement suddenly seem so insignificant.


after thinking for a while i decided not to submit my caas application form.I dont want to tie myself down to an organization yet.my mom jus told me this story abt her bro getting a psc scholarship,and afterwards he forfeited it because he had alot of job offers during his uni studies and felt that his prospects were better outside of the govt.now he is doing pretty well in shanghai...


went to the SMU open house today.Super cool i was very impressed by the facilities,the comprehensiveness of the programme.And the subtle suaning of other universities courses was present LOL but it was more understated than SMU so we wouldnt think that they were putting down other universities for the sake of it.the seminar style of lessons is also suited for people like me who cant pay attention during lectures as it offers less chances of sleeping.the mentally stimulating environment also encourages my thinking processes.and SMU business is going to be accredited within the next 2 years so I am really happy!that was the only thing i was worried about because i intend to do my masters/phD ( if i ever study for so long) overseas and since SMU is not so established might dampen my chances.


perhaps a double major in social science or psychology of the sorts simply because i enjoy the subject :)

alot of the successful people do not have a degree,but then im afraid it is quite practical in singaporean society.

now tt i got my results i really dont know what i should do now.not even in the mood for celebrating,dunno what to celebrate about.I have landed into the group of close-to-perfect-score-but-not-quite people (i should form a support group for these people) and absurdly depressed over it though there are some people that are congratulating me,some saying tt my results are OK and asking me which uni course i applying,which i still havent figured out yet.

healthcare,aviation or media industry.
medicine,psychology,new media,business?????like wth.

aiyah dunno lah visit all the open houses then decide ho hum xd

i got A for GP,bio,chem,math and PW ,B for lit and chinese.for those that are interested.alvina already told me beforehand tt i did "pretty well" so i roughly knew that i didnt have a perfect score but i did reasonably well.5As and 2Bs.not perfect but i think i should be content.


im kind of pressured by the 600 people in RJC who scored better than me but i hope all of them study overseas so there will be space for me in local U BWAHAHHAHA.

Congrats to all those that went up onstage! =)

ryan michelle sharon boonbin 6As is like fantastic xD totally deserve it! and wenzhen n jon got 4As,back row slackers ftw!



when i first heard tt i had 5 distinctions i though that my GP would get B because i didnt finish my compre and compo...plus i faked half my points for compo cos it was a question i didnt study for ( like the rest of NYJC i studied sci and tech blindly, it is not something i would advise to my juniors...)

i am kind of disappointed for my lit though :( it was the only subject that i really expected myself to get A for the other subs were like quite not secure.guess A levels can be really unpredictable especially for humanities.ugh.


AND WTH HALF OUR CLASS GOT A FOR GP ( roughly around ten i think i am not too sure didnt go noseying around everyones results) much higher than the school's 9%.gopal must have some magic power we didnt know about.maybe during our sleeping time in her class we must have absorbed her ghostly aura which empowered us during GP.even j lau who consistently got U throughout his nyjc life got a D for GP.


went home to an empty house,got nagged at by mom for not being in the top 3 in class,got nagged at by uncle for not getting straight As,ate dinner,irritated friends on msn,facebooked and congratulated people for their good results.

i really wonder if i should have accepted the h3 chem they offered me in jc2.but nevermind what is over is over! :D

did a last minute registration for Trinity Guildhall Exams.the exams are in MAY-jun instead of July like i though like wtf i might be taking exam in 2 months time when i hvnt gotten the pieces lol.i hope for the best,opted to leave my teachers name out of my cert in case i majorly screw up like i did for grade 4.pretty apprehensive but learning how to get over my fear of playing to stern looking examiners in enclosed rooms.

Things to take note
1)play your score slowly but in time
2)memorize score,the stand with the book is just to hide your face
3)no sweaty palms no sweaty palms
4)who wants to listen to me play and watch me with a stern expression while scribbling mysteriously( like er,what seems to be a zero lol) in a notebook. so i can be less nervous during exam?lol DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.

going korea/transit 2 days in shanghai in 14-22 april,which eliminates possibilities of a stable part time job lol.need anything?

i need to stop having weird dreams abt A level results/my ex-boss/classmates/being wrongfully accused by my mother of commiting suicide.it is like my conscious mind doesnt really care. but then my subconscious is like giving me nightmares.


more or less narrowed down my uni choices to psychology with minor in business.now is just a matter of which uni.probably NUS though i think the bidding system is stupid.but some of the General Education Modules are interesting,albeit useless.


and ive been part time job hunting lately.if i stay at home too much i dont think i cant stand my mom asking me again to accompany her to bukit timah hill for her brisk walks.the fresh air does NOT do me any good!


think im wearing grey this friday,think itll dampen my chances? =)